Only Christian Horner can save Ferrari after Elkann Civil War

From a quick Google search, making your own homemade pizza seems fairly straightforward: Water, yeast, flour, olive oil, tomato sauce, various cheeses and toppings.

Nowhere there does it say to throw your employees under a bus.

So a bit like running a Formula 1 team, then. Follow the instructions, everyone works together, nobody gets singled out for not pulling their weight, or if you’re Ferrari chairman John Elkann, that’s exactly what you do, hailing his engineers and mechanics while claiming Charles Leclerc and Lewis Hamilton are too busy with their own personal recipes to help the team.

Since Elkann took charge of Ferrari in mid-2018, the team has been very much that. Mid.

They’ve won 15 of 160 races, lifted neither World Drivers’ nor World Constructors’ Championship and had three separate seasons without a victory.

Unless a miracle happens, of course. It’s two winless seasons so far, but there are only three races left in 2025 and Ferrari are more likely to record a double DNF than a victory.

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Something needs changing at Maranello. Elkann thinks it’s the drivers, but he’s had THREE world champions during his tenure and Leclerc is closing in on becoming the driver with the most points never to have won the championship.

So maybe it’s not the drivers then, John. And you’ve hailed the engineers and the mechanics. Who, oh who, oh who could it be?

The team principal perhaps? When he’s not been trying to fit in with the normal people, Elkann’s been busy appointing bosses and giving them new contracts despite the evidence.

Surely it’s time to turn to the most successful team principal in recent years. One with a lot of time on his hands. And a lot of dough that needs cooking. No, not that sort of dough, John, the floury one you cook and eat.

When he was appointed manager of West Germany in the 1980s, Franz Beckenbauer was called the ‘teamchef’ rather than ‘head coach’ because he didn’t have the coaching licence, and that’s what Christian Horner can be for Ferrari.

Beckenbauer won the World Cup by selecting the best ingredients and teamchef Horner has done that again and again at Red Bull. Although it does help when your special ingredients are Sebastian Vettel and Max Verstappen.

Now Horner is without a job and in his spare time he’s annoyed his neighbours for building an unapproved pizza oven on his property, which might have to be torn down due to complaints from locals.

Lots of time, lots of dough, lots of experience. Where better to move his pizza oven than to Maranello and cook something special up at Scuderia Ferrari?

He’s the most qualified man for the job and would quickly win back Leclerc and Hamilton as one thing Horner showed over his 20 years at Red Bull is that he defends his drivers no matter what.

Verstappen could have stuck his tongue out at an innocent child (or numerous other minor inconveniences that I can put to print and get away with) and Horner would have claimed he did not see it, and if anything, it was the other way around and the baby was to blame for the whole scenario for taking the wrong racing line.

It’s time for F1 to welcome Horner back to the fold.

A calzone, if you will.

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