Formula 1 drivers as Christmas Dinner

Merry Christmas GPFans readers! Christmas Day is all about just one thing for us – the food and the Formula 1 presents. That got us to thinking – why not combine the two?! Bear with us as we reimagine the traditional Christmas Day dinner if it were made up by the grid.

Turkey – Lewis Hamilton

The main event. The big kahuna. Year after year it comes back to dominate the Christmas Dinner table – apart from that one time you tried a goose and quickly retired it. Like our five-time world champion, turkey might not always be the flashiest thing on the table and it tends to be lifted by a few trimmings, just as Hamilton's talents are aptly assisted by Mercedes' ability to give him a suitable machine, but their reputations are well-earned and we know they'll be back again next year.

A pair of elements that are excellent in their own right, but wrap them together and you've got true fireworks. Malaysia 2016, Hungary 2017, Azerbaijan 2018 – and those are just the highlights. Hopefully the Australian and Dutchman will remain in close quarters after Ricciardo's switch to Renault. If nothing else fails, we can all take solace in the fact that pigs in blankets are eternal.

Both have been around for long enough now to have been made into something truly special, but they always seem to get boiled down to the same old thing – namely: a soggy green splodge on your plate and a decent driver too often outdone by his own lapses of concentration. Maybe next year we'll try that recipe with bacon and the Haas man will find real consistency. We're optimists until the end.

Solid, reliable and capable of soaking up plenty. Sainz isn't one to crack under pressure on track and mash will similarly never let you down.

Made of the same stuff as mash, but infinitely better.

You could make an argument for ham being better than turkey. Maybe it's more versatile, maybe it's a bit more refined, maybe ham should be the centre of attention every year. But, you know what? Even if ham has had its day in the sun, it's just not turkey is it? Can't put your finger on it, but it isn't turkey and it probably never will be…

Stuffing truly is the wingman of the dinnerplate. You'd never think of serving it on its own, it complements the main event without overshadowing it and, let's be honest, you could just as happily have your turkey without the stuffing as much as it's nice to have them together. Side dishes come and go – for every dish of stuffing there is also Esteban Oco… ermm, we mean cranberry sauce.

You know, there's nothing wrong with Christmas Pudding. But it's time has come and gone, surely? We want something with all the hallmarks of a classic, with a bit of a twist to keep us on our toes. Does mulled wine trifle even exist? It sounds like it should. Just like Ferrari putting their faith in young drivers sounds sensible in principle, but when does it ever happen. Well now it does. So you get the sponge fingers lined up and I'll put the wine on the hob.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!